Beyond Feeling Good or Bad
"If you meditate you should come to know what counts. It has nothing to do with feeling good or bad, you have to go deeper than that..."
Rashnu: What I feel is that… one day we feel very nice, all the things are going as per our wish or will. Next day somebody acts or somebody says something to us, we are disturbed. After one or two days again we feel very nice. Why this is going on?
Dolano: Yeah, I know this… you are on the path and what you are doing, you try to feel good. Everyday you try to feel good, you get up in the morning, "Oh I feel good, I am close to enlightenment because today I am really feeling good!" And you always refer to what I feel.
And then another time you wake up and "Oh I don't feel good!" In fact you have some stomach upset. You were eating too late and now you have this funny feeling in the stomach and with that bad thoughts happen, a perfect situation to have bad thoughts. Why should I get up in the first place anyhow? Life is so meaningless. Yeah, isn't it? This is what you are busy with because you are on the path, what you are doing on the path, you all want to feel good.
You see, I don't care if I feel good or not. I don't even notice it anymore. I don't ask myself in the morning, do I feel good? I don't even ask. Why would I ask myself if I feel good or bad? Haven't you seen the power of thoughts? Now I feel good, I am good. Now I feel bad, I am bad.
If you meditate you should come to know what counts. It has nothing to do with feeling good or bad, you have to go deeper than that, you hear me? You are living in a realm of boundaries. This body-mind organism will always sometime feel good and sometime bad. Enlightenment has nothing to do with feeling good or feeling bad. It has nothing to do with that. Of course if body-mind is liberated, you will no more care about feeling good or bad, and for that reason you may not even notice that you feel bad. Or good! You will not notice, because who cares?
There are things happening in the Leela and the boundaries, you're hitting the toe, you forget your key, you are searching again for your reading glasses. The whole day seems like I am searching only for my keys and my glasses. "What a stupid life is going on! I hate myself searching for my glasses every day!" No? What?
These are boundaries. You are bound to have to search for your glasses and you are going to hit your toe and it hurts, and what else, you're going to spill your tea and you have to clean it up and you should have better stayed in bed. Sometimes I go to my computer and push the button and everything is wrong. If I would not have gotten up, my computer would have done just fine. The whole day I was busy to make this computer work again, this is why I got up.
You see, you are focused on what I think, what I feel and what I am doing, you are focused on that and you overlook life itself. It is about life itself. This play of Leela that you see, isn't it a miracle! Isn't it amazing, isn't it a wow?! Isn't it a wow this situation? Hey! Tell me! Look around. This situation. What do you want, it is so amazing this body-life, this situation, this play of Leela, this nature, isn't it a miracle? Say "Yes", come on! Say "Yes"!
You say "Ah today this feels good. If this could just stay forever!" These are experiences, but the nature of experience is that it is a come and a go. You ask something unnatural, that's why you suffer, you hear me?
Dolano: Yes, it is a miracle, it is amazing. This body-life stream, this body-life situation is amazing. Why do you worry about feeling good or bad? I say to you this situation is so great. It is worth the discomfort. It is worth the uncomfort… or is it discomfort? Somebody, English teacher, fast! Fast!
Dolano: It is worth the discomfort. Do not refer to how you feel, you hear me? Meditation points towards life itself. You have to fall in love with what goes deeper than feeling. Feelings are so changeable, they are not meant to stay always the same. It is unnatural to desire feeling good always. It is not possible, that is why you are in a struggle and in a frustration.
Everyday you overlook life itself with your struggle. "I want to feel good. Ah this feels good, I have to hold on to it, today I am so much feeling love for everybody. If this could just stay forever!" These are experiences, but the nature of experience is that it is a come and a go. It is its nature. It can't stay eternal. You ask something unnatural, that's why you suffer, you hear me?
Dolano: So for you the first lesson is to value what is life itself. So, if you hit the toe, it's still worth the discomfort. You hear me? Even if you hit the toe, you say this life is still great, you hear me? Otherwise you have to get a very big lesson, an accident or something very nasty happens to you. Some people, they have a near death experience, they come back, and they value, they don't care anymore if I feel good or bad. This life is such a miracle! I will enjoy in the midst of feeling good or bad. Why you worry about feeling good or bad? It is something very natural, you hear me? Yes?
You are in love with meditation, so be in love with what you are in love with and don't care if you feel good or bad. Do not hold on to good feeling or bad feeling. Know what counts, life itself. Yes? Okay good.
Rashnu: Yes, thank you.
Dolano: Being on the path, meditation, you have to learn to value what is, what is! You have heard the Zen stories maybe. You have heard Zen stories? Zen stories always point towards ordinariness. But ordinariness is not what you think ordinary is.
"Blue nail polish not allowed here, this is not ordinary". You think ordinary must be very boring. Ordinary is not boring. Ordinary points towards what is. This is a miracle. What more you want? You have to learn to value what is and not be hunting and running after experiences. You hear me? Because what you are running for and hunting for, this is not here now.
And even if God comes to you now, he has to leave soon. Whatever comes has to leave. You have to come to know what does not come and what does not go and see the value. You are in love with that. Do not overlook, it is natural to be in love with that, you hear me?
And you are in a misunderstanding with clinging to feeling good and bad. You overlook what you actually love in the midst of any feeling good or bad. In any kind of circumstance, you are in love with that and go along with that. This makes you ready for enlightenment. Yes? That is why people on the path tend to get lost in the esoteric, you hear me? People get into meditation and then something should happen and "I am waiting for an explosion." I say if you meditate nothing should happen.
Nothing should happen. Whatever happens will soon go, you can't rely on it. Good or bad. You have to come to know what doesn't come and go. Nothing should happen during meditation, nothing should happen. You have to be in love with nothing ever happened. This is it, this only is eternal. And this is life itself. You hear me? Fall in love with that, this is the device of mediation. Yes? Okay.
Open Satsang with Dolano.